WAIT! DON’T CLICK THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON!!
Seriously don’t do it!
I know it means getting a free copy of MORTON MEETS A MI-GO
& An exclusive short story: THE TUNNEL
& Access to Jasper’s never seen BLOOPERS REEL
And yes, that’s an incredible offer that no sane person could refuse.
You’ve got to seriously consider what you’re letting yourself in for?
Once a month, you’ll be subjected to the maniacal mind of one of the world’s most deranged writers of dark fiction. There won’t be anywhere to hide! A monthly newsletter will let you know about every book, every graphic novel and ever short story that Jasper publishes, before anyone else knows about it. You’ll also get advanced news of all Jasper’s upcoming publications. Can you imagine anything worse?
Well, yes, actually, because Jasper also hosts a monthly YouTube channel, and a regular webcomic, featuring tales of terror drawn by some of the top talent in comics, and hosted by Jasper himself, as a comic book character. Every month you’ll be exposed to behind the scenes info on these, and all of Jasper’s other activities, such as his regular blog and all the interviews, podcasts and other guest features he does. In all honesty, are you ready for that?
Probably not, but you definitely won’t be prepared to hear about all Jasper’s up coming appearances and public readings, at conventions, bookshops and his regular Ghost Walk. I mean why would you want to know that? Unless of course Jasper was heading your way and you needed advance warning to leave town. Hey, y’know what, that’s not such a bad idea. Maybe you should sign up after all. Aw, what the hell, go ahead and subscribe.
I mean, what’s the worst that can happen...?
SO WHO IS THIS JASPER BARK GUY ANYWAY???
Jasper Bark is infectious - and there’s no known cure. If you’re reading this then you’re already at risk of contamination. The symptoms will begin to manifest any moment now. There’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no itching or unfortunate rashes, but you’ll become obsessed with his books, from the award winning collections Dead Air and Stuck on You and Other Prime Cuts, to cult novels like The Final Cut and acclaimed graphic novels such as Bloodfellas and Beyond Lovecraft.
Soon you’ll want to tweet, post and blog about his work until thousands of others fall under its viral spell. We’re afraid there’s no way to avoid this, these words contain a power you are hopeless to resist. You’re already in their thrall and have from the moment you read this bio. Even now you find yourself itching to sign up and read the rest of his work. Don’t fight it, embrace the urge and wear your obsession with pride!